Friday, April 07, 2006

April's Resolutions

Ok, I guess these are a bit like New Year's resolutions, but seeing as it's now April, I can't really call them that.
I think just recently I have been lacking motivation to do *anything* and my life feels very bitty, so maybe writing a list will help (although I admit that it doesn't force me to actually do anything)

1. Start eating healthily. This doesn't necessarily mean go on a diet, just cut out the rubbish I've been eating. Snacks are fine in between meals, as long as they are healthy snacks, which at the moment they definitely are not.

2. Book a check up for M at the paediatrician. This sounds like such a small and silly thing to do, but its a good indication of my lack of motivation recently, as this is his 18month checkup and he is now almost 20 months. No doubt the paed will have something to say about it, just like her pithy comment when she prescribed some Vitamin D for him this winter - "I'm only prescribing it this year, just to see if you can actually finish the entire course" (I made the mistake of admitting that last winter we didn't really give it to him very much, cos I didn't think it was that necessary). Also the fact that I delayed his first MMR by 6 months didn't go down very well, and at his 18 month checkup he is meant to have another Meningitis jab and another 5-in-1 (I'm going to decline the 5-in-1), so me and her have a peachy relationship! She's ok though, no need to change paeds or anything, I just have to be brave when I go!

3. Get my business in some sort of order. We haven't done much with it since Christmas, and although E has lots of excuses (marriage, honeymoon, crap time at work), I have none. So I need to use the time when M is at Espace Bebes for 3 hours a week to get the accounts in order, design new pieces, and just generally get on top of things so we can plan another party.

4. Get the seeds planted. We may only have a balcony, but I really want to grow some of our own veg this year. We did it last year with tomatoes, but this year I want to do more. Its silly really, I want to do this stuff, I feel its important, but somehow I 'never get round to doing it', and its not as if I am really busy, I have time to do it, I just end up wasting time doing nothing.

I guess there's plenty more things I want to achieve, but I think I'll just leave it there for now. Too much stuff, and I'll just get overwhelmed as usual, and end up achieving nothing again. Maybe I'll leave the other stuff for next month...........

Thursday, April 06, 2006


I felt very sad the other night when I came home from dinner with a group of mums. Don't get me wrong, I had a good time, even though they weren't really my sort of people.

It was just that they all seemed so jaded. It was commented that I must be the one with the youngest child, as I was still so positive in my outlook. I admit that I was the only one there with less than 2 children, and I have no idea what difference more than 1 has on your life compared to just having a single child.

They just seemed to place such little value on what they do, what mothers do. They feel that they achieve nothing all day. One said (let's call her C) that it regularly takes her a couple of hours to get out of the house because her eldest just won't allow it. My reply to her was that she got out of the house eventually and so that was an achievement in itself. I understand that sometimes mums go from having a 'career' to being a SAHM and that the two worlds are very different, and it can open up a whole load of different emotions, guilt, inadequacy, etc but sometimes I feel that we only accent the negative stuff and don't celebrate the positive, however small it may be.

I just feel that mums do a fantastic job, and sometimes we don't feel like that, either because no one tells us (and we need telling every now and then) or because it doesn't feel like we achieve anything compared to the woman who leaves the house to go to work.

I certainly worry that I am frequently fobbing M off, when he wants to play, and to be honest, I just can't be bothered. But then even little things can teach him stuff and please him immensely. For example, just now, I pushed him up and down the hall on his ride-along, and even though I was wondering how I could stop pushing him without it causing a scene, I was trying to show him how to steer it so we didn't end up in the wall. Only a little thing, but important nonetheless, especially if you want to cut down on bruises and blood loss!

So, come on mums, value what you do, you are doing an extremely important and difficult job, and you know what, you're doing great!